Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Just the other day...


     A warm honey scent plays with my nose as I speed walk to family history class.  People pass by me.  Their eyes seem to stare at a spot on the cement sidewalk.  I look down to see what it is but there’s nothing but pebbles, grey blobs of gum, and dried leaves.  My shins begin to scream anarchy as I speed up my already fast pace.  I want to make it on time to class today.
     With roughly one-hundred feet to walk before I could take my speed walking into the Benson building, at last I see a face whose eyes find more interest in my own than the grey cement beneath our feet.  Oh, no.  The creep from the tennis courts is also a creep on my way to save the dead.  He must have figured out that we turn hearts in that class.
     “Hi,” I squeak out as I change my pace almost into a run.
     He adopts my direction and my pace and begins to talk to me with his creamy peanut butter voice, “Hey! What’s the rush? Late to class or something?”
     Trying to hold my usual smile on my face I say, “Yeah. I’m really late! Bye.”  And once again I increase the velocity of my feet.  And one catches on an elevated piece of the sidewalk.  Argh!  So that is why everyone stares at the ground while walking to and from class, so they don’t make fools of themselves in front of people they’d rather not be in front of at all.
     Luckily my fall wasn’t so bad and there was no blood the wanna-be knight in shining armor could clean off.  Instead his hand was waiting to help me up.  I look at it for a moment, look away, and hoping I had just imagined it look up again.  It was still there and in the interest of time I accepted his cavalier offering.  Half-heartedly I said, “Thank you.”  And when I was about to cause my poor body more pain by literally running away, I was jolted backwards and almost fell again when I realized he hadn’t let go of my hand!
     “Hey! Slow down! I’ve been meaning to ask you…”

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Autumn is Coming


Breathing in
Freshly cut watermelon
And warm, rich honey
The day before Autumn comes.

Breathing the many sweet scents of Summer,
The day before Autumn comes.

Passing by a ground’s man,
Who wields wood chips as mulch.
Breathing in its deep, woody scent,
The day before Autumn comes.

 Breathing, just breathing,
            The sweetness of fresh air.
            It’s easy to breathe in
The day before Autumn comes.

Breathing in is,
            Getting harder.
Autumn is almost here.


please note that it is already fall :) but I was thinking back on when it wasn't yet when I wrote this.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

smMYling

In our own despair we often forget that others around us are also suffering. It's easy to do. We are very self-centered creatures normally. Think about it. When your mom asked you to clean your room you thought to yourself, "MOM! I just have three more levels before I beat this Zelda!!! Can't you wait!" You then were plagued with doubts about your mother's love for you and you have never ever been the same since. No, but really, when your teacher at school assigned you a major homework assignment the night of your biggest game in your life's history didn't you sit around in a circle with all your buddies and bash on that good-for-nothing teacher that should realize that half of the people in his class are on the team with the biggest game in their "career" on the line and he expects you to finish this torturous assignment? Who can worry about something as trivial as Math or even English when something important is on the line such as your basketball career. We really are centered on ourselves.
Today I had the opportunity to smile at a hundred people as they made their way through door L of the BYU-I I-Center for devotional. As I tried to practice an infectious smile I had a long while to think about myself and the people going in and out my door. Some were really quiet and wouldn't look at me in the face until I said, "Enjoy devotional!" then most heard me and smiled and said "thanks." But then there were others that maybe didn't hear me and never looked my way and on their lips wasn't even a remnant of a smile. This makes me reflect on myself negatively and ask "what if I failed?". I remind myself of the poem by Emily Dickinson, "They might not need me; but they might. I'll let my head be just in sight; a smile as small as mine might be precisely their necessity." And again I ask, "What if I failed?"
I was always smiling and even if sometimes my voice did stutter I did welcome them to devotional. So I really can't say I didn't do my part to try and make their day better. They just didn't give me the chance to.
It makes me feel so much better on a bad day when a complete stranger acknowledges my existence because it jars me away from thinking about me and my problems and reminds me that there are other people on the planet too. So what am I trying to get at? I'm not sure. Maybe I want to ask you to look at the people that you walk past on the sidewalk and smile. Maybe that's all they needed at that moment. You could be the one do give it to them. And I think that'd make them smile back. Plus the world will be a happier place if the people in it showed their pearly whites once in a while.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Walls


You’ve built up so many walls inside of you; I can see them outside of you.
They make you stiff and cause you to be critical and demanding of others.
And that is not what this life is all about.
We were meant to love each other and be supportive and forgiving.
But those walls inside of you won’t let you relent.
You must be exacting. You must be imposing. And that makes you mean.
And it’s causing you pain.
But the walls inside you can be temporary if only you’d let them.
Take the petard that forgiveness commissions and destroy that part of yourself, forever.
Never let the walls slowly build up inside you again.
Everyday choose to go on clean up duty, chose to forgive, and chose to repent.
Throw away the ruble that starts accumulating in your heart.
Don’t let it sit there and cement and cause you to lose out on the joy of life.
Please.
You’ve built up so many walls inside of you; I can see them outside of you.
And it’s causing me pain.

Monday, August 6, 2012

What is meant by "being content"?

Contentment
Robs the mind of thought
Stunts the growth of knowledge
But opens time for peaceful rest
So motion loses progress

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Testimony Meeting at Girl's Camp

My soul is billowing, billowing more and more, getting bigger and bigger, and closer to Heaven.
Warmth, flickering and flashing, causing my eyes to water and my conviction to strengthen.
The crack and pop induces goose bumps to run up and down my limbs.
Inspiration lands soft and white in my eyes causing tears and my fingers to fly on a page.
"The Spirit of God like a fire is burning"

Monday, July 16, 2012

I'm Thinking

I'm thinking of all the places I need to go, the things I need to do, and the people that I need to see. I'm thinking that I might not have time for all of it, especially now that I'm taking a minute to write. I'm thinking of my blessings, and how bountiful they are. I'm thinking that even though I'm feeling nervous about the unknown I'm going to be happy no matter what comes my way. I'm thinking that I think too much and that now is not the time for thinking but the time for doing.