Jacob 3:1

But behold, I, Jacob, would speak unto you that are pure in heart. Look unto God with firmness of mind, and pray unto him with exceeding faith, and he will console you in your afflictions, and he will plead your cause, and send down justice upon those who seek your destruction.

Takeout

“Then one day you order takeout and it changes your life……” These are the last words Kacky McClurry hears from the late night movie she’d been watching before she slips into a restful sleep.

The sun creeps around the blinds and through the windows of Kacky McClurry’s house. Kacky awakes to the sound of static from the TV. She glances at the clock on the wall and sighs. The hour hand is about to touch the twelve. She’d slept for twelve hours without waking up once. Good thing that it is vacation. She struggles to get out of her tangle of sheets and blankets and heads toward the kitchen.  She opens the refrigerator door. Man I’m going to need to go out soon and get groceries or else I’m going to starve! Pulling her long blond hair out of her ponytail she heads to her bathroom to get prepared for the day.

“And I knew it the first time I touched her. It was like coming home….” These were the first words that Denny Carter heard as he walked into his living room at ten in the morning. Why did he have to let his sister in when she showed up at his door and announced that she was going to be spending a week with him?  

“Sis!” Denny whined, “Sleepless in Seattle this early in the morning?!”

“Why of course! Why do you think that I came over? I’m going to get you out of your own little world. And I’ll do it with my sappy and amazing romances!” Leah responded.

“Uhhh! Ok I was going to go to work anyway. I might as well leave early.” And with that Denny left his apartment.

Kacky’s tummy rumbles when she clicks in her seat belt after picking up groceries. She looks at her phone and sees that it is around two o’clock and she hasn’t eaten lunch yet. I’m craving bacon, lettuce, and tomato on whole wheat bread she thought. Starting up her 1964 Chevy Impala she turned her steering wheel and decided just this once she’d go eat out.

The bell jingled on the door of Subway. Denny looked up to greet another customer. Wow! Denny’s breath seemed to stop as he looked at a tall, blond haired woman with the darkest blue eyes he’d ever seen. He realized that he’d been staring when his co-worker and friend Wick elbowed him in the ribs. “Welcome to Subway, how may I help you?” Denny says in reflex. He still feels like staring but tries to act normal in front of this girl.

“I’d like a foot long BLT on whole wheat bread please.”

And she has a voice as smooth as silk! Following protocol Denny asks “What do you want on it?” wondering what other toppings this beauty eats on her sandwich. He personally liked his on white with just bacon, lettuce, and tomato. The look the pretty blond gave him questioned his hearing or his intelligence, almost saying, “are you stupid.” But how she said the next words made him feel even more foolish.

“I-would-like-a-foot-long-B-L-T-on-whole-wheat-bread-please!”

“Ha, you probably think that I’m an idiot now but really I was just wondering if you liked anything else on it.” She looked a little unsure, like he still might be lacking in the grey matter department.

Wick had been busy making her sandwich while they had been talking. He turned to Denny and handed him the sandwich whispering, “You go check her out, no pun intended.” Denny passed him, taking the sandwich, and turned to the blond.

“Is there anything else you want?”

Now she looked offended. Shoot, I might have accidentally said it in a way that said, “Would you like to spend time with me,” when I should have just said straight out, “Do you want chips or a soda?”

She just responded very politely actually with a, “No thanks,” then just stood there. ARGH! I hate first impressions!

“Hey would you mind looking at swatches with me? I mean, go out with me? I have two weeks off of school and my sister came over and started watching chick flicks and I need to stay away from my apartment or else they’ll drive me crazy. We could go play tennis. I noticed that your shirt says tennis on it.” Man that sounded smart, not.

I stood there in shock for a second staring incredulously at the subway guy for a moment. Here is some guy that I’ve never met before, let alone know, asking me out when all I wanted is a sandwich! I wonder if I give the wrong impression to guys. The guy wasn’t at all bad looking and he looked so disappointed, like I had already said no. There was only a slight chance of him being a chain saw murderer, a flasher, or someone really sick. I guess it wouldn’t hurt. “Ok.”

Now it was his turn to look shocked. “Really?”

“Yeah, why not? Here I’ll give you my phone number and address if you promise not to stalk me. Promise?”

He gave a short laugh and responded, “Yeah, I promise. Thanks.”

Then I paid for my sandwich and left.

“Dude,” Wick said to Denny once the door closed, “What were you thinking asking her out? She could be a chain saw murderer or someone else really sick for all we know!” Then he added as an afterthought, “You don’t even know her name!”

“I think I’ll take all the chances that girl will give me.” The bell rang as the door opened to admit another customer.

“Ya, I guess I would too.”

Denny got back to his apartment around five o’clock in the afternoon. His sister sat on the sofa, tear streaks on her face, staring blankly at the screen as the finishing credits of a movie rolled by. Denny cautiously walked over to her and gave her a short hug. She must have started crying during one of her romance movies. “Leah, why don’t you ask someone out and then we could double.” At least that might help out his Kleenex supply. What could have been more than half a box of them were crumpled up and sitting soaked in a heap on the floor. Denny’s last comment got Leah’s attention, snapping her out of her trance.

“You mean you have an actual date?!”

Ouch, talk about a huge bruise to my ego. “Don’t sound so surprised.”

“Ok, then tell me everything about her or I will eat all of your frozen pizzas and chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.”

Denny walked into the kitchen to see what was left of his food supply. He found a couple of boxes of pizzas and a whole carton of ice cream gone. “Looks like you already have.” He glanced at his sister who was still waiting expectantly.

“I don’t need to know her favorite color or anything I just want to know her name and what she looks like.”

“I don’t know anything about her really. All I know is what she looks like. I don’t even know her name. And if you don’t close your mouth soon I’m going to throw something in it.”

Leah closed her mouth, then opened it again and said, “Ok, then just tell me what you know.”

“I don’t know anything about him at all!” Kacky said, speaking on the phone to her best friend Mariah.

“Well what is his name?”

“I don’t know.”

“How old is he?”

“I don’t know.”

“What does he like to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“WHAT’S HE LOOK LIKE?” Mariah said, sounding a little exasperated.

“He is tall, lean and has curly dark hair and the darkest green eyes I’ve ever seen!”

“Ok that’s a start. So what are you doing for your first date?”

“You are implying that there may be more than one.”

“Why not? This makes tons of sense actually. The less you know about a person the better…”

BEEP BEEP “Hey Mar I have an incoming call can I call you back?”

“Sure, ta ta love!”

Kacky answers the incoming call. “Hello?”

A masculine voice responds, “Hello….” Then there is a click and the line goes dead.

Denny walked back into the living room, his face looking morose. Leah sat up from her position on the couch. “How did it go? What did she say?”

“She said hello.”

“And what did you say?”

“All I could say was hello.”

“How pathetic! What were you going to say to her?”

“I don’t know. That’s why I hung up.”

Leah puts her head down, places her hand on her head and gently shakes it thinking to herself, “This sounds just like Sleepless in Seattle.” Then she looks up and asks, “Ok, what do you want to do on your date?”

“Mmm… I don’t know. What do you think I should do?”

Humph “I’ll tell you my opinion and then you can decide from there. You can ask her out for a smoothie or a milkshake if she’s cool and you like her then you could ask her out to dinner. That way if she’s a freak you can say, “Oh that was great!” and then you go home. But she is probably amazing so take her out for a milkshake, and then a walk, and then just talk to her. Now go randomly show up at her house with a dozen roses!”

The doorbell rang, “Dingalingading Dingalingadingdong.” Now who could that be? Kacky opens the door to reveal two legs and a huge bouquet of flowers.

“Flowers for the beautiful BLT Blonde,” someone says from behind all the flowers. Taking the flowers from the outstretched arms she now can recognize the Subway guy. “Hello, my name is Denny.”

“Hi,” She breaths in the scent of the flowers, “my name is Kacky.”

“Walk with me?”

“Sure”

She sets the flowers down in the hall and they start to walk towards a nearby park. He grabs her hand as they walk. She looks down and can’t tell which hand is hers and which hand is his, and she knew. It was like magic.

He knew the minute her touched her. It was like coming home.

As the pair walked towards the park the sun gently slid over the horizon.

The Girl in the MirrorI look in the mirror and what do I see? me? no I don't see me...,
I see someone strong and happy inside, pretty and clever, funny and kind,
The person with two very dark vivid eyes seems to scream of what can could
or may from deep down inside,
Photogenic and celestial that girl in that mirror,
With long luscious eye lashes and scarlet rose lips,
She can do anything and succeed, flourish, thrive.
She is my best self, my worst self,
my friend but my foe.
I talk with her.
Laugh at her.
Sing to her.
BUT
The girl in the mirror can vanish like that!
With no explanation, no reason, no why,
She turns on me quicker than a baby could cry!
She nasty, disgusting, and ugly and loud,
With puffy dark circles under murky vague eyes.
Thin pale lips with nothing to say are turned down at the corners,
They quiver and shake.
Weak, frail, dejected
The girl in the mirror.
"NO! No! no!" that girl now demands, "I want to be happy! I want to be happy! I cannot give up..."
The girl in the mirror soon disappears...
Some days she can still be glimpsed in the mirror,
But she will *NEVER* fully return.

Mind over matter. ;) Keep fighting those battles!
They are worth winning!

"I have looked at majestic mountains rising high against the blue sky and thought of Jesus, the Creator of heaven and earth. I have stood on the sand of an island in the Pacific and watched the dawn rise like thunder- a ball of gold surrounded by clouds of pink and white and purple- and thought of Jesus, the Word by whom all things were made. I have seen a beautiful child- bright-eyed, innocent, loving and trusting- and marveled at the majesty and miracle of creation. What then shall we do with Jesus who is called Christ?
This earth is his creation. When we make it ugly, we offend him. Our bodies are the work of our Creator. When we abuse them, we abuse him."

Gordon B. Hinkley

...never let him in

Red Brick House

 

Rain beats

          Incessantly,

On the roof of a

Red Brick House

Never getting in. 

Wind blows

          Incessantly,

Against the sides of a

Red Brick House

Never getting in.

The sun glares

          Incessantly,

On the curtains of a

Red Brick House

Never getting in.

But when a wolf pounds

Incessantly,

On the door of a

Red Brick House

The occupant, seeing only a sheep,

Opens the door,

And the wolf gets in.

Berlin 1948

THE THUNDER'S GIFT

CONSTANT THUNDER,

BUT NO CLOUDS.

CHILDREN DO NOT CUP THEIR EARS

TO THE NOW COMFORTING LOUDNESS OF

THE AMERICAN AIRPLANES.

ONE WIGGLED ITS WINGS

AND DROPPED SOMETHING...

A HANDKERCHIEF,

TIED TO A PARACHUTE, IT GRACEFULLY FELL

AND LANDED SAFELY ON A HILL.

THE CHILDREN GATHERED ROUND.

ONE CHILD OPENED IT,

AND SHARED THE SPLIT PIECES

OF A CHOCOLATE BAR.

Insecure? me too...

Feelings of insecurity are never far from my mind, whether it is fear of judgement, rejection, failure, or embarassment. Stake dances are one of the things that seem to open the door to feelings of insecurity. The worst is when guys actually come but don't dance with you. I mean we all feel insecure and that might be the reason that no one asks us at a dance to dance. But what ever the real reason the mind is mean and tells you lies about yourself. Tells you aren't pretty enough, aren't graceful enough, aren't good enough. But it is all not true! What does it matter that no guy asks us to dance? Heavenly Father still loves us! (And He shows us that love in all sorts of ways so just look for them.) But sometimes that doesn't seem to stop the tears and we just have to hide and have a little crying session. But that's ok. It's part of life. I once wrote a poem about a stake dance. Here it is. Unmoving The music's loud in a blurry room and she is left ...unmoving A silent tear slides down her neutral face ...unnoticed Insecure amidst insecurity she holds a fixable saddness Unnoticed, her neutrality slightly breaking, silent tears slide down her face For the others seen unmoving, in a blurry room when the music's loud. When I got home from one particular dance I felt inspired to read a story in the Old Testiment, the story of Lazarus when he is raised from the dead. There is one part that seemed particularly relevant to me in my situation. (If you don't remember the story or want to brush up you can find it online at http://lds.org/scriptures/nt/john/11?lang=eng or St John 11 in the King James Version of the Bible.) The gist of the story is Martha and Mary's brother Lazarus died before Christ came to heal him. When Christ does get there Mary is weeping and so are a lot of other Jews. When Jesus sees this it states in St John 11:35 "Jesus wept." This two word verse of scripture brought great comfort to me. To think that everytime I shed some tears that Christ has also felt what I'm feeling and crys with me. My tears now can stop sooner when I realize that He took on all of life's sorrows. Remember that this life is not what forever will be like. (I'm paraphrasing an apostle) "Trust in God with all thine heart... lean not to thine own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5-6) And one last scripture for you. "...the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise." (Alma 37:45)

Sunset

Sunset

The sun never really sets

The earth just turns away

But you can turn her back again

And start a brand new day.

-Anna Martin

First Post EVER!

This is my first post so I want to make it epic, or at least memorable, but it won't be. The whole purpose for me doing this is to share my thoughts with my friends and family. I'll post pictures and stories, poems and spiritual thoughts or scriptures. And I'd love for you to add what you think! Here is a scripture I love! It is in Alma 17:11. "...be patient in long-suffering and afflictions, that ye may show forth good examples unto them in me, and I will make an instrument of thee in my hands unto the salvation of may souls"