There is a quote by Thomas S. Monson that goes something like, "When we compare ourselves to others we become either bitter or vain". I think of this quote whenever I compare myself with others and I try to analyse which one I become... And I never know. I guess I think of it as contrasting more than comparing. I contrast other people's social life to mine and mine is looking like wimpy yellow sprigs grass contrasted with their luscious green lawn that would have been in the Garden of Eden.
Questions start to run through my mind, for example. Why? Is there a reason for my dateless state? I start to ask myself other questions after these. Like is there something wrong with me? Do I smell? Am I pretty enough? Am I smart enough? Do I annoy people? Just because I'm not a social butterfly doesn't mean I should be dateless right? But all my supposed answers to these questions seem to make my opinion of myself sour. There has to be something wrong with me right? Would you say that there is something wrong with me, because I’m dateless? Would you say there is something wrong with you because you’re dateless? I don’t think so, and actually I know that that isn’t true!
When I answer the questions above, I usually blow them off right away because it is preposterous! Who is going to say that something is wrong with me? Who is going to say, "Hey girl, you just ain't smart enough for me!" or “Girl, you is fat and ugly”? If someone said that we wouldn't take that sitting down! We would know he was wrong. And we would want to punch him in the nose or at least pray for his soul because when God hears what he said He is going to be mad at him! Anyway, sometimes it is a lot harder to shut down these destructive thoughts if they are more subtle and not as pronounced. If we don't notice them for what they are they are going to eat at us and we are going to start to believe them. We have to be convinced of own self-worth and of our potential. And we have to keep positive thoughts running into our heads. We need to do things because they will make us feel good or better about ourselves. And keep shooting down those negative thoughts with the precision of a sniper.
The following is a few excerpts from a talk entitled, “Your Happily Ever After” given by Dieter F. Uchtdorf in the April 2010 Ensign. At the end I will post a link so you can go directly to the talk and read and/or listen to the whole thing.
“In stories, as in life, adversity teaches us things we cannot learn otherwise. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. Our loving Heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger, and experience joy……
It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.
There are those among you who, although young, have already suffered a full measure of grief and sorrow. My heart is filled with compassion and love for you. How dear you are to the Church. How beloved you are of your Heavenly Father. Though it may seem that you are alone, angels attend you. Though you may feel that no one can understand the depth of your despair, our Savior, Jesus Christ, understands. He suffered more than we can possibly imagine, and He did it for us; He did it for you. You are not alone.
If you ever feel your burden is too great to bear, lift your heart to your Heavenly Father, and He will uphold and bless you. He says to you, as He said to Joseph Smith, “[Your] adversity and [your] afflictions shall be but a small moment; and then, if [you] endure it well, God shall exalt [you] on high.”
Enduring adversity is not the only thing you must do to experience a happy life. Let me repeat: how you react to adversity and temptation is a critical factor in whether or not you arrive at your own “happily ever after.”…….
I understand that, at times, some may wonder why they attend Church meetings or why it is so important to read the scriptures regularly or pray to our Heavenly Father daily. Here is my answer: You do these things because they are part of God’s path for you. And that path will take you to your “happily ever after” destination…….
My dear young sisters—you who stand for truth and righteousness, you who seek goodness, you who have entered the waters of baptism and walk in the ways of the Lord—our Father in Heaven has promised that you will “mount up with wings as eagles; [you] shall run, and not be weary; and [you] shall walk, and not faint.” You “shall not be deceived.” God will bless and prosper you. “The gates of hell shall not prevail against you; … and the Lord God will disperse the powers of darkness from before you, and cause the heavens to shake for your good, and his name’s glory.”
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